How to Survive With Three Bears in the Wild

Life comes with unexpected turns. Mine left me struggling with three baby bears in the middle of nowhere.

Around this time of year, it seems, reflection is in the air. People start posting on social media about how blessed their lives are, and how lucky they are to be where they are in life. But what about those of us who ended up somewhere we didn't plan?

A flew of unexpected events lead me into the woods with three bears, all alone.

It all started out when we moved to Alaska. After we moved to the middle of nowhere, beautiful Valdez, I realized that something was missing. We started unpacking. Some of my spoons were missing, but that wasn't it. We were using camp chairs for furniture, so technically my furniture was missing, but that wasn't it, either. My family, my job, and my home were gone. That was a life change, but that wasn't THE THING that was missing...

And then I figured out what was missing.

I was pregnant, again.

I was thinking to myself, "Goodness, Erin! How many life changes can you fit into the span of 3 years?!!!! Did you forget the advice to wait a while before the next one?!" And the ever so relentless "You are going to have a three-year-old, one-year-old, and a newborn?!!! Are you nuts!????"

After I came to terms with my 9+ month sentence, I started thinking more positively. I could handle another kid! Babies are always a blessing.

With our positive hats on, we became adults, bought a real couch and had the baby. She was a beautiful, chubby, butterball who ate ALL OF THE time and growled. Her little head looked adorable with the soft headbands that she genuinely liked to wear. The first time my two boys met her, they did an impression of the saber toothed tiger from Ice Age and said "Where's the baby!? THERE SHE IS!" , which and made her cry. That was followed by my two-year-old son talking to her in meows, because he thought she was a cat. That, or maybe he thought that's what babies said. Meow.....

My Little Bear

Life was about to get really interesting.

When I brought the baby home from the hospital, I ended up having to be on bed rest for a week. The delivery was the worst experience I had of the three kids, and it was a life adjustment to know that I am a mortal, after all. On top of that, our kids had to share rooms, with the baby waking them up every hour. To add to the chaos, my middle meowing child would regularly decide at 2 am that sleep wasn't part of his life plan. He would stay up until 5 am just to throw the whole week off. If the military ever needed sleep torture devices to be invented, they could certainly borrow my children.

My saving grace was the driving. If I could get the kids in their car seats, fed, and changed, we could be happy in the car. My growling baby loved music, and the boys, after being confined with the car seat straps of mother's freedom, would submit and sleep. Sometimes I wished I could just park somewhere and sleep with them.

One day after a run of particularly bad nights, I loaded the kids in the car for an afternoon drive, and drove up the seaside to a place near my home. It was a radiantly sunny day, perfect for toddler naps. As I drove, one by one, the kids gave into their fatigue and fell asleep. A sigh of "finally" came over me, when I noticed something brown on the side of the road. I slowed down to take a closer look. After pulling over, my eyes were finally able spot what the brown was- a mama bear, and three brown cubs!

I couldn't believe it. Right next to the road the three cubs were playing in the tall grass, while the mom sat nearby. Normally when you see a mom and cubs, they move on pretty quickly. However, since I kept my distance, and no other cars drove by, I got to watch their brown fur turn golden in the sun for 15 minutes. The cubs tried climbing up the rocky mountainside by the grass, and kept falling. They even tried scratching their backs against a nearby light post, like Baloo scratching against a tree from The Jungle Book. It was one of the coolest experience I've had in Alaska.

As I sat their watching them, I got this overwhelming gratitude knowing that this mother bear was managing with her cubs, too. She didn't have family nearby to go drop the kids off to run errands, either. She didn't even have car seats to strap them into for 5 minutes! And yet, here I was, alone in the middle of nowhere Alaska with my three bear cubs, struggling just the same. I felt like God was sending me a message from above saying, "You're not alone, even though it seems like you are. I am aware of you, and it's going to be ok."

I look back at that experience, with such a vivid imagery, while the struggles are growing more and more foggy. The happy parts of that time are what I could hold onto to get me through the fatigue. My kids didn't stay awake forever! They eventually crashed, and when they did, I slept, too. And when we played, we made sure all the kids were awake playing. It got better. Life changed, and I got stronger. Now, when my kids have sleepless nights, or nightmares, I can handle fatigue like a champ. Most of the time no one can tell when I only got 5 hours of sleep, or when there was a monster under the bed 5 times in the night.

To anyone else also struggling with their bears in the woods of motherhood, loneliness, or grief- hang on to the joy. Finding a bit of happiness from God in the middle of a struggle can be called a little miracle. A mercy from Heaven that lets you know you aren't alone. The happiness you can find in a struggle will bring joy for years to come.